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Right Now..

January 27, 2015 By kimwheeler 33 Comments

So this post was supposed to be things I’m loving in January. You know what? I have to be real and say I’m hating January. I try to share things that are mostly uplifting here.Today I just can’t. One of my best friends is struggling through her last days on this planet. It’s unbelievable to me that someone so full of life, love and fun could be taken down so fast by cancer. I hate that word. Hate.

 I go between feeling angry, so angry, mad and upset about my friend who is only in her early 40s, then very sad. I feel grateful to be alive, and extremely stressed about it all as well.  I have a 97 year old grandmother who is having health issues and I found out today my dear mom is not well. I love all of them so much. On top of it all, sadly two wonderful people from our community also died this week. One was a high schooler and another was a parent.

 I am dealing. In one way through mindless television. Somehow working on home projects or even simple tasks gets me thinking too much. I’m laying on the couch a bit more with the cats and just watching the clouds go by…Ate a few scones too.

Enjoy life every day. Hug the ones you love. Don’t forget about the little things. Those are the big things.

Tomorrow I may be back with a fluffy post of lipsticks, perfume and all the superficial crap that’s helping me escape a bit right now.

Thank you friends for being here.

Kim

Filed Under: Life

ON MY RADAR...

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dawn Lucy says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Sending you lots of love and a very big hug. Having someone close to you die rocks you to the core … the world suddenly feels so very fragile and unsafe. Cherish every precious moment, dear friend.
    OXOX
    Dawn Lucy
    http://fashionshouldbefun.blogspot.com

    Reply
  2. Andrea says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you during this very difficult time. Thank you for the reminder to love all that is wonderful about being alive and to appreciate all that I have in this moment…it is so easy to get caught up in the unimportant stuff.

    Reply
  3. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    Thank you Dawn. I know you have gone through this so recently and understand. xo

    Reply
  4. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Thank you Andrea so much. I really appreciate your note.

    Reply
  5. Jane and Lance Hattatt says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Hello Kim,

    Sometimes life can seem so cruel and one wonders why there has to be so much suffering in the world. You are going through a very difficult period at the moment with so many people who are close to you having health problems and we feel very sad for you.

    Distractions can help at times like these, we know that only too well from our own experiences. Whatever, you must be kind to yourself and not feel guilty or upset that you are not achieving more than you imagine you should. Stress and worry are very energy consuming.

    But, you are so right that one must give thanks for all that is good around one since life is fragile. One's world can be turned upside down in an instant.

    Take great care of yourself. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  6. La Contessa says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    I too have LOST A DEAR DEAR FRIEND to a CANCER………..NOT FAIR!TIME……..it takes TIME to HEAL……………it's okay to lay on the sofa and watch the clouds go by!!!
    Sorry, to hear you have a HEAVY PLATE at the moment.Hope to see you THURSDAY!!!
    XO

    Reply
  7. Monica P says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your friends and loved ones. My friend just told me she has breast cancer. Even though I'm optimistic about her beating this .. my mind goes to the "what if's" …

    Monica, http://www.pear-shaped-gal.com

    Reply
  8. Badinage says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Sometimes it really all does pile up at once, doesn't it? That's when mindless TV is a godsend and having a safe comfortable home environment to nest in.
    Thinking of you.

    Reply
  9. Jennifer Connolly says

    January 27, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    I'm so sorry Kim! Things all do seem to come in waves. My thoughts and prayers for your friend. Sending love Kim.
    Blogs allow us to focus on the pretty fluff, as you say, but real life has a way of crashing down and it's good to share.
    xoxoJ

    Reply
  10. Heather Lindstrom says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    Hello my sweet friend, You've been on my mind as you've been walking through this very sad time. I hate cancer too. It stole my dad from us in a short but brutal battle. I am so sorry for you, your friend and her family. Grief is a process and every emotion you are feeling right now is completely normal. I'm glad you are taking some down time and time to feel life and loss. You are so right, we must appreciate every moment and treasure our loved ones. Hugs to you today. Thank you for sharing such an authentic post so that we can support you.
    xx, Heather

    Reply
  11. DaniBP says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:08 pm

    Kim I'm so sorry, how devastating this is. Thanks for keeping it real. I've had a tough month too, my daughter hasn't been well and it's all I can think about (worry about). I'm pretty much a giant bag of worry and even worse she has lots of anxiety about her health problems too. We've been binge-watching Gossip Girls on Netflix together, it's very soothing.
    Take care my friend.xo

    Reply
  12. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:17 am

    Dear Dani, So worrying about your daughter. Wishing her well and sending you hugs. I agree it helps to cheek out a bit into these shows. Thinking of you both. xo

    Reply
  13. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:18 am

    Heather I was thinking of you and that last post you had about your dad. It was too short a time.Thanks for the love and thoughts. xo

    Reply
  14. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:19 am

    Jennifer, thank you. Not always sure about sharing all this, but really want this blog to be real, so I have to. xo

    Reply
  15. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:19 am

    Tabitha thank you! I know I'm lucky to have that.

    Reply
  16. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:20 am

    Monica isn't it true? You cannot help it. Wishing your friend well and luck with her battle. Take care Monica!

    Reply
  17. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:22 am

    I know I was thinking about your beautiful ballerina friend. She too was full of life and young…Yes I am coming to your house!! xo

    Reply
  18. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:24 am

    Jane and Lance, Thank you for this.Your letter helped so much. Much appreciate all the thoughts here dear Hattatts. You are so right. xo

    Reply
  19. miss b says

    January 28, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Sometimes challenges seem to come together all at once and I'm not surprised that you are feeling like this as you go through such a difficult time. Your advice to enjoy every day and not forget the little things is something we should all remember.

    Reply
  20. bunacat says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your friend and am thinking about you today. I think that everyone has been touched by this horrible disease in one way or another and it is devastating. As we get older and we see our parents and friends begin to deal with health issues it becomes so important to enjoy and appreciate all of the people and tiny little things going on in our lives. You are absolutely right about that! I, for one, am grateful that I have been able to see what you have been up to through your blog after all these years and am so happy to see that you have a wonderful husband and beautiful children!

    Reply
  21. Coulda shoulda woulda says

    January 29, 2015 at 10:34 am

    I wish I could say something to make you feel better…unfortunately it's just one of those terrible times or rather one of the facts of life that is inevitable. I wish you strength to help those who need it and comfort them. I also hope you pas thru this troubled time that is always temporary xx

    Reply
  22. LRS4AMANDA says

    January 30, 2015 at 4:29 am

    Kim,

    I've been reading your blog for over a year, never commented before…I found you through Adrienne's blog!

    I'm so sorry about your friend on top of your mom and grandmother's health issues. I've been sad myself all day today. The nephew of my best friend from high school just passed away today from melanoma. Only 38 years old, he put up such a fight.

    The older we get unfortunately we lose friends/acquaintances/loved ones more frequently. I hope that things calm down for you very soon… And I think mindless T.V. is a great escape, when my husband and I are under stress we love to watch stupid movies. It helps us cope!

    Glad you got out and did something fun for yourself today. 🙂

    Linda in San Diego

    Reply
  23. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 30, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Thank you Kelley. Yes I think everyone our age has been dealing with or has had the same happen. I am grateful to be in touch again too! Thanks for the sweet note and you are a bright spot.

    Reply
  24. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 30, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Naomi, Thanks for that. Very kind. xo

    Reply
  25. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 30, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Linda, So awful about your friend's nephew. That's much too young! So sorry to hear that.

    I agree I am grateful for mindless T.V. and escapes like that! Yes today I was lucky to get to a French cooking camp I signed up for a long time ago. It was nice to have that distraction today and fun! Thanks so much for the kind words and for reading and being here. Really appreciate it.

    Reply
  26. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    January 30, 2015 at 7:43 am

    Miss b, I know I am trying and thank you!

    Reply
  27. WendyMcLeodMacKnight says

    January 31, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Kim – so sorry I missed this! Thinking of you and sending love!

    Reply
  28. Lalalucie says

    February 1, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    ❤️

    Reply
  29. Tamera Beardsley says

    February 2, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    First darling I send you the biggest hugs of comfort. Life really can be hard sometimes … and you are having a slew of it right now my dear. I did so enjoy your honesty here though … even in grief you are a delight. sometimes it is the 'superficial crap' … that get's us through … the really hard crap in life … Even if only as a diversion.

    I send you much love my dear friend. And I couldn't agree more with you … indeed

    It is the little things …that are truly the bog things in life.

    xoxo
    Tamera

    Reply
  30. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    February 3, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    Thank you everyone for the notes. I so appreciate every one. Kim

    Reply
  31. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    February 3, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Thank you dear Tamera. Remembering the little things today. xx

    Reply
  32. kim at northerncalstyle. says

    February 3, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Thank you Wendy.

    Reply
  33. Leigh Powell Hines says

    February 4, 2015 at 12:39 am

    Oh, I'm so sorry Kim. I've been playing catch up. I am very sad for you.

    Reply

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