#mothers Archives - Northern California Style

This Mother’s Day will be unlike any we’ve had before. Moms will be either spending a LOT of quality time with the fam or sadly their loved ones are far or unable to be near them now. The 2020 Mother’s Day may be the least commercial with limited shopping and that’s maybe good. Old school coupon books and breakfasts in bed will be enough for many and a treat. My own wish for is for time to chill, maybe a glass of wine in the yard or with a favorite show, and a break from the everyday grind of cooking, cleaning, food and toilet paper procurement, etc. Many of us are very familiar with the grind right now, thanks to family togetherness in the era of Covid 19!

It’s been five years since my own lovely mom has been gone, and each year I miss her more. There are so many milestones I wish I could talk over with mom. In the past year I could have asked her opinion about the house remodel, raising sons and college choices. We could have talked over shows and ice skating on television. Mom would have loved The Crown and so many good books I have discovered. I know she would be so proud to see my boy’s graduate and what all the grandkids have become. I would like to ask of her own experience with menopause and when hers started and when did she stop having extreme hot-flashes. I would tell her now I totally get how she got burnt out on cooking at age 65 and left it to my dad. I also now sympathize with her increasing anxiety about driving and many other things previously second nature. In some ways it’s better she’s not here to see that Hilary lost and what has become of our nation. She cared so much about women’s rights, animals and those who have the least among us. She also was a self-professed germaphobe and this virus would have put her over the edge.

My mom avoided taking photos so I have very few of her. My favorite is this 1967 photo dad snapped of her ready to board a train to her hometown of Milwaukee, leaving me with grandma, which I look none too happy about. I love her chic suit and Sassoon kind of haircut. In the back was her sharp black and white 65 Buick Skylark, which she drove for all our childhood.

This weekend I’ll think of the cool things about Suzanne Marek Fleming, that continue to bubble to the surface of my own conscience and become part of me. I can attribute so much to mom like my visceral love of yellow, anything by Carly Simon, Gladys Knight and Helen Reddy, Audrey Hepburn, all things tennis, cats, biographies, white t-shirts and neat blue jeans, enjoying the yard, puttering about the home, and a perfect cocktail on Friday night, mom’s being a Manhattan. Those are the little things that bring happiness. That is probably the best gift I have received from my mom- find joy in the everyday, make your home your nest and have a happy routine. It’s simple, slow living and it is a good way to live life. My dad is very much the same. I hope my boys will find small things that bring them joy in the everyday too.

Do many of you feel the same? Do you now live like your mother, even inadvertently? Maybe it’s partly in our DNA what we like and what we do. I believe that may have more to do with it than we know.

I am excited to share will be back Monday with my new series, Californians at Home, where I interview stylish Californians about how they live, entertain and decorate. Make sure you’re subscribed to the blog- here or on the right sidebar to get emails when I publish a post. You can also follow on Instagram, where I post more regularly, and Pinterest.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend and find a little bit of what fills your basket and brings joy. Take time out for you, even if it’s sitting alone for a bit with your feet up and listening to some great music or watching the clouds. For the moms -chores don’t exist this weekend so don’t touch anything until Monday. I’m giving you permission starting now!

Hugs,

Kim

Mom’s original Breakfast at Tiffany’s album we still play.

Photos property of Northern California Style and may not be used without permission.

Today is my mom Suzanne’s birthday, well actually it is the 29th, Leap Year. She always insisted it was the last day of February, not the first of March if we didn’t have a Leap Year, so I will celebrate her today with a Manhattan, her favorite cocktail.

It has been three years since we lost my sweet mom and though the pain is a little less, I seem to miss her more each passing year. There are so many things I wish we could chat about…so many things she is missing, especially with my boys she loved so much and her other grandkids. On this day and many others I can only cope by being grateful for all she has given me and passed on to me. Some I didn’t even realize were her doing until lately.

So many things my mom instilled in us and also made us passionate for. She was lovely, kind to everyone and yet sadly a terrible worrier. I got that too. She was always taking the side of the underdog and injustice- whether it was a kid at school or prejudice at the supermarket, my mom called it out, sometimes embarrassingly so for us at the time. Now I think back with pride at my mom’s bravery.

My mom laughing with my kids as she always was.

My mom was a mini philanthropist in her own way. She gave to little charities, especially animal ones regularly. Later when she had more money, always had a little wad of bills in her hand for the busboy, the waiters and waitresses, the man on the street and so many others. My mom would go out of her way to find the girl with the kind smile and make sure she got the money, sometimes to our exasperation. Now I see it was her way of spreading love and being grateful for what she had.

My mom was the first person to speak out about women’s rights that I knew of. I remember her passion during the Billie Jean King- Bobbie Riggs tennis match which we watched in earnest and cheered when a WOMAN beat a man! My mom said we were Woman Libbers and woman deserved equality and the same rights was any man, and I believed it. I was eight at the time. My mom would have loved that Battle of the Sexes film and would be thrilled about the Women’s Marches that have taken place in the past two years.

Last week watching the Olympics, I missed her more than ever. My mom was a huge Olympic fan and thanks to her, I have watched every one since 1972 when Olga Korbet of the U.S.S.R. was a little gymnastic darling and wowed us. My mom’s biggest sport love was ice skating, much to my dad’s dismay as she watched every ice competition ever. Mom grew up in Wisconsin and loved ice skating on ponds and would bike long ways just to skate with her friends. We scrutinized many a ice performance together and she loved the really artistic skaters, as do I now too. She would have loved Adam Rippon and the commentary by Johnny and Tara of this Olympics. After I saw the film I Tonya, all I could think of was what my mom would have thought and how fun it would have been to dish about that whole Tonya Harding thing again…

Thanks to my mom I love Wimbledon and playing tennis. She got me started at an early age as she loved it herself and we had a tiny club, Dunnets around the corner from our house. Mom liked that I could ride my bike there and she bought me one of the first Prince aluminum racquets in high school when everyone else still had wooden ones. We watched many a Wimbledon together and always loved Chris Evert’s feminine style best of all the players. She has missed many a good match and would be thrilled Serena just had her first baby.

Thanks to my mom I love cats, buttered noodles, Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffanys, little children, old folks, Hollywood gossip, Doris Day, Carly Simon, beautiful clothes, people dressed neat as a pin ( her words), being at home, sitting in the sun, and yellow roses and flowers.

I plan to bring my mom some today.

Kim