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#newyear

On Wintering

January 19, 2021 By kimwheeler 14 Comments

Today we had actual real weather in California. We had a night and morning of raging winds so strong even my usual Tuesday tennis was cancelled. The courts were covered with detritus and the air howled when the gusts hit.

I headed home and the internet and phone service were both down. It was so cold, I hated to leave my warm car, so I went inside grabbed a mug of green tea and went back to the car and finished listening to a public radio show in my driveway. It was cozy and warm in the car, and I thought I should really do this more often.

Later on, since I couldn’t really work or waste time checking the news, I took the opportunity to find a spot on the couch to finish the wonderful book, Wintering, I have been absorbing. This book, by Katherine May, is about embracing winters in a literal and figurative sense. We go through many winters or hard times in our lives, and like real winters, we need to slow down, do less and listen to our bodies and find healing in these times. It’s a beautifully written and descriptive book and it has me savoring these January days and giving into the impulse to stay in and stay cozy. Rather than wishing for warm weather and spring, I am instead trying to appreciate the gifts only the cold season has to offer.

I embraced this chilly day and had some old fashioned Lipton noodle soup from the box, as my mom would make for us kids on winter days. If that wasn’t in the pantry, we had egg noodles slathered with margarine… and sometimes grilled cheese sandwiches too. My mom grew up in Wisconsin, and knew how to make the most of cold days. Just that red soup box brings me back to blustery winter days eating lunch in our blue flower wallpapered kitchen overlooking the big front yard sycamore that would rattle with the storms.

After lunch, when we were small, she would make us take naps. Mom was a lifelong devotee of naps, even as a young girl and being an anxious person, I think they were a kind of meditation for her and a way to calm herself and get through the day. All my life, whenever I was tired or stressed, mom would say, ‘go get on your couch for a while and take a nap’. Most of my life, I resisted that. Today I took a nap, belly full of soup and enjoyed the coziness of hearing the storm from the warm couch under a blanket. I realized I don’t take advantage of an occasional nap on a cold winter day. I don’t make the buttered noodles enough or the soup. I vow to do it more.

What I took away from Wintering, is that we need to be kinder to ourselves and this is never more true than years like we are in now. We should use this quiet and more isolated season to take more time for reflection, sleep, winter walks in nature, pampering, enrichment, reading, crafts, cooking and whatever fills our tanks. The new body, fitter self and perfect home and wardrobe is not what is going to bring us joy. It’s the parts of each day that we fully live in the moment that will help us get through this next part of the pandemic and the strife of now.

If you want a balm for the times we are in, I love Katherine’s book. It’s a little history, part healing and encouragement, as all of us have a winter of some kind in our lives. She reminds us it’s cyclical and we go through rough patches many times throughout life and become stronger because of them.

Also, I will add, that we should listen to our moms and take more naps and enjoy soup or butter noodle days when we need a little cocooning.

Kim

Filed Under: Uncategorized, Wintering Tagged With: #books, #healing, #newyear, #selfcare, #wintering, #winterliving

Happy New Year

January 1, 2021 By kimwheeler 15 Comments

Happy 2021. Sorry for the lapse in blogging. Not sure what happened in December…Thankfully we are done with this car crash of a year. I know the calendar changing isn’t going to fix everything, but it sure feels like it might help. Remember back in March when I was writing what we can do to get through? Ha! ]Last night I made myself festive and wore a satin skirt with a sweater and my mom’s 1960’s crystal bracelet. I had to give my holiday clothes a whirl even if it was to eat pizza and sit by the fire and play a board game. It was my kind of NYE. I’m not a big late night girl, never have been. I’d much rather be tucked up in bed with a book.

As crappy as this past year has been, we have gotten stronger, more resilient, less selfish and I think smarter too. We have been gifted with the time to stop and realize what the heck really matters in this life. Slow living was thrust upon us and it isn’t all bad. Everything else kind of fell away and frankly, some of that was good – and needed.

At my house, with all of us home- the guys with school and work and one beginning a new job, in our small home it has not been easy. We have had our struggles here. It isn’t all rosy. Things have been rough for young people and the elderly this year because of the isolation. They are missing out on so many life milestones and older folks on the connections. Some are just done living and working in their rooms.

Lawrence Wright of the New Yorker wrote the amazing and well-researched article called The Plague Year, says a huge part of our failure fighting this virus is the inability of us all to come together and to treat it like the enemy, as we have during wars and other catastrophes. Can you imagine if we had done this? If every American had worn a mask and not socialized? Just those two things alone would have made all the difference.

The positives of this pandemic year are we had a lot more time with our spouses and kids. There have been so many great interactions with our neighbors who we usually do not see so much in a busy world. The good/bad is also with no commitments or events we have more time to do what we want, and the strain of must do’s has been lessened. The holiday season sure was a lot less stress!

We are living with doing less, but maybe finding joy in smaller things. In a tragic year, maybe this is how we find our way back to real meaning in life? We appreciate everything more, especially our health, the people in our lives and the little rituals that bring joy each day.

Highlights of my Covid year..

I fit in time to patch my grandmother’s jeweled tree from the 1960’s. I posted this on my Instagram .I just treasure mine and loved it as a little girl at seeing it each Christmas at grandma’s home. Crafts, art and handiwork is something I have enjoyed trying this year and have brought some quality time in a year of repetitive tasks. I also tried an online watercolor class taught by my friend Heidi , and it was an enriching experience, probably the best thing I have done for myself this year, especially the time I had to mark off to paint for and hour or so each week. Muck around with something new using your hands in 2021, and you might find a few moments of zen in the craziness.

By the way, wear those vintage jewels or fancy things. You don’t need a party to have them bring you joy. I took my mom’s beloved Christmas bell pin out this year. Wear it for yourself. We need the uplift now! Honestly each time I saw it on my coat it brought me a little happy feeling. Mom was with me each time I went out with that coat!

Getting out of the house for a simple walk in our neighborhood has been enough to get through some days. Our family did walks before the pandemic, but it always was on a trail, or off in the car to some special spot. We have found a loop from our house that is 1/3 of a mile. It’s not a challenge, but it takes us through a park. We, the guys included, have trained ourselves to do it a few times a day, even if just to take a break from sitting. It may not be burning that many calories, but it’s been good for us to have a set route to just go to without thinking. It’s a break for the mind and doesn’t hurt the heart. I find when I do it, I can easily do it twice without thinking and it lifts me out of whatever funk I have, without much effort. Talking to a friend on the phone, or listening to music or a book while doing it is another treat for yourself. Just doing the walk with nothing, but the quiet is pretty darn good to calm the mind too.

Finding some humor..Jackson’s darling girlfriend Kristin got us this ornament which is a keepsake of what I hope will be a year we will never repeat, but it reminds me to find some humor in it all. We also have been watching old 80’s and 90’s film and stand-up comedians just to get a few laughs in a night. Once we pry the kids out of their room, old movies like Diehard actually sparked a lot of conversation and laughs.

I also have made an effort to call people. Yes I know the old fashioned phone! I had gotten out of the habit and fifteen minutes on the phone with a friend or family member is so nice. My brother also always makes me laugh. Thinking of calling someone? Just do it.

Cooking more. I made my Christmas lasagnas this year- one for my dad to enjoy also. It’s easy to make a double of any recipe to keep for later- or to share.

Max has been perfecting his home made pizza on the outdoor grill and we have gotten into a good routine of cooking at home almost all nights except one a week. I defiantly think we are eating better and finding it a joy when we tackle it together- and the guys clean up.

A bottle brush tree I spied in the window of our local home shop Harvest also made me happy. I brought it to our small cabin and put those tiny battery lights on it . We bought a tiny older kit cabin this year in Tahoe and are so thankful to spend family time here this winter. I promise to share more of it soon.

You readers and this blog community here has gotten me through this year. I cannot tell you how much you being here and your notes mean to me. I thank you all so much. I plan to change things up in 2021 and blog more, so stay tuned. That means treating this blog like a job, something I have struggled with as I usually put everything at home first. This year I plan to put some of my own things first. Anyone else feel the same?

I’d love so much to hear below in the comments what you got out of this last year and your thoughts. I hope it hasn’t been all bad.

Sending you love and wishing each of you a happy, healthy and love filled 2021.

Thank you for reading!

Kim

P.S. Someone asked where my satin skirt is from. I bought it last year at Banana Republic and they still have it- marked down plus additional off.

Filed Under: New Years and starting fresh, Uncategorized Tagged With: #2021, #highlightsofacovidyear, #newyear, #newyearthoughts, #thoughtson2020

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Here we are again. More families destroyed by the Here we are again. More families destroyed by the inability of our nation to take a stand against the gun lobby, manufacturers and politicians supporting them.  Little children and their teachers gone. I don’t want to hear about freedoms.. Those are faux freedoms gun culture enables. 

What about the freedom to go to school and feel safe without being gunned down? The freedom to go to the grocery store, the movies, a festival or a concert, a nightclub without fear of being killed? We all are in danger in all places. States with strong gun laws are at the mercy of the states with the weakest laws, as we have no walls between us. 

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This photo from @shannonrwatts - please follow her. This is a child today being brought to a reunification center for parents awaiting news. ☹️

I know some of you only want happy posts, but can we agree we aren’t doing enough here and we all need to take part? 

Other accounts trying to make change:
@momsdemand 
@everytown 
@changetheref 
@march_fourth_ 
@giffordscourage 

Call and donate to your local politicians who take a stand on gun control. Know where all of them stand on guns and share it. If you can, donate to those in other states who are fighting the good fight and need the support. ❤️

I love this country and I really want change. 

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Juliet and Elizabeth have great things to dive into this weekend too…

Stop on by our blogs- links as always, in our bios or stories:
@northerncalstyle 
@makemineaspritzer 
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Link in bio! 

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I separated the sectional and sort of like it apar I separated the sectional and sort of like it apart. This RH couch is a LOT of maintenance and can look pretty deflated after a weekend of hanging out. In hindsight, I’d buy a couch that does not require so much fluffing and cushion alternating. I snapped this pic because it was one of the times I had the pillows looking nice on it. You also need a lot of pillows to not get swallowed up by it. I call it the great white.

The local RH actually has a cleaning team that steams and fluffs their couch and I’ve seen them before the shop opens. I found it hard to get reviews on this couch before buying because RH does not have them online and if you notice they don’t do social media… so I’m just putting it out there. I will share what I love here,but I think it helps to be transparent about what is a disappointment too. 

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