Today I went downtown to meet two friends for a quick Christmas coffee and bit of cheer. We met for 30 minutes and though I had a ton to do, it was worth every minute. Yesterday I drove all the way to Berkeley just to have a birthday lunch for a dear friend. It was so fun I am still thinking about it and wish it lasted longer.
Everyone has somewhere to be right now and a million things to do before the big man comes. I personally freak out about now. That is ensuing. My Christmas cards just came today -(I ordered late), and I realized I have yet to select/send the gifts for our relatives and friends that are far away. A holiday open house is coming on the weekend and tonight a bunco holiday party and an exchange with the nicest girls. Gifts and stockings for fam are not done. Baking should happen today as soon as I get up the motivation to brave the grocery store. I have piles of laundry stacked on the machine, dishes and other chores and yet I went today and yesterday.
Are you feeling the same? Breathe in now if you are in this same situation. Cue the holiday tunes. That makes me feel good. Fall back on the no gift just good tidings when you can. Nobody needs more things. Getting together can be enough. You don’t HAVE to bake for the neighbors. It’s okay NOT to write in the holiday cards. Maybe you’ll even skip the baking or the cards? Some gifts and cards will arrive late.. This is not the end of the world.
This week something tragic brought all this stuff to a halt in my mind. A man was struck and killed right around the corner from my home. He was going to his car and helping someone with their Christmas lights. It was a freak accident we still don’t know how happened, but it happened right at our elementary school and just when Kindergarten was getting out. A horrible tragedy and maybe or not caused by people rushing about during this time. We still do not know all the facts. What we do know is that we are all so lucky to be here and this man is not. I cannot stop thinking about him and his family this week. How very fortunate we are to be in the world right now.
Find the things that make the holiday time happy for you and make them a priority. Is it baking? Watching a holiday film? My kids have to have an Elf movie night and I have to see It’s a Wonderful Life and The Christmas Carol with George C. Scott. I have to crack open my dear mother’s Betty Crocker Christmas Cooky Book (Yes that is the spelling), and make Ethel’s Sugar Cookies. We will have a drive through Willow Glen and see all the homes dressed up with lights. That is Christmas to me. Those things make my heart happy.
Let things go. Take time to sit on the couch, put your feet up and have some tea. Meet friends for a cappuccino even if you have things to do. If you have to not cook dinner some nights them do it. Do what brings you joy and you’ll find the charm of this season. It’s okay to buy less and also not to make everyone dreams come true gift wise. I already told my boys they are getting clothes they need, gift cards and a little cash. Not anything else.
When I really think about it, I put the expectations on myself more than anyone else does. I want things to be just so. I want everything to be amazing for my family, but truthfully my family would enjoy me more if I was just present and happy. Maybe you are doing the same to yourself. Ask yourself this if you are getting that panicked feeling.
I feel like each year I get a little wiser. Time and being present seems more precious and valuable than anything else. Maybe you all have already figured this out.
Wishing you a little of that magic feeling in your heart right now.
Kim
I agree Kim. This Christmas has forced me to scale things back. My Dad died a little over a month ago and it has been hard to adjust to that and help my Mom. That along with caring for a father in law that has a lot of Doctor appointments has made me let go of a lot of what I usually do during the Holidays. No one is going to care if I don’t put up as many decorations, cook, or buy the perfect gift. Time with our people is what is important, you never know what is going to happen. I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas!!
Kelley I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. I know what it is like to have a parent gone at the holidays and it is tough. Also caring for another takes its toll. Yes time with our people…I love that. That is what is all about. Take care of yourself Kelley too. It takes a long time to heal. Thinking of you and your family right now. Hugs to you.
Kim this was a great post to read on the perfect day. I’m like you this is when I tend to panic because I like everything to be just so, and I really love Christmas so I make lots of plans but of course by now there’s just not time to get everything done.
I haven’t done any baking or mailed out cards this year, I realize this morning it will have to be New Year’s cards and that’s okay. We send out client gifts and I did get that done, I bought clothes and books and treats for my Rascals and that’s plenty, I’m affirming all of this thanks to you because otherwise I might have done that last minute panic shopping today which I have done in the past! So your post resonates with me 100% and I thank you for it!
Tonight we’re hosting our office dinner party for 10 people, it’s a real treat because my husband has a great team working for him, we’ve been looking forward to it for months. It’s the kind of thing that is the best part of the holidays isn’t it!
My Rascals will all be home on Monday, really really looking forward to that. And laughing about Elf night because that’s my favourite night, just like your boys 🙂
Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas. xxx
Dani, Merry Christmas! Glad to know I am not alone. I had so much I wanted to do, but will settle for what I have so I can enjoy the season. I think your dinner party sounds fun- and especially so because I know Dani you will make everyone feel so welcome in your home! That is the way you are. Have fun with the rascals. So nice you will all be together. I’ll be thinking of you on Elf night. Stay cozy and have the best holiday. Hugs.
It meant so much to Cindy (and me) that you came for her birthday lunch. This post is a great reminder about being present.
Merry Christmas, Kim!
Mary Ann
Mary Ann, It was a treat to see you in this crazy week and so glad we did it and I had a little coffee with you too. Wishing you a beautiful Christmas with the family. Thankful we have become friends this year. Hugs.
I am where YOU ARE EXACTLY!
NO cards this year from me to ANYONE!That is a FIRST FOR ME………..
I have one GIFT for my BELOVED!
MY SONS will NOT BE HOME for CHRISTMAS and that is a FIRST AS WELL.
I too try to make it all MAGICAL and PERFECT well, that is NOT HAPPENING this year!
I am not feeling well and that has taken a toll on me.
TREE IS UP……..MENU is on paper.
Gifts I have are wrapped.
I too found out this week a woman I knew from my BANK died.She had retired this summer and one month later found out she had STAGE FOUR LUNG CANCER!Gosh, just is not fair……………..and SO SO SAD.As you know I keep thinking about your story!
Merry Christmas KIM!
WE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE THESE PROBLEMS OR SNAFU’s!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything will be BEAUTIFUL!
XOXO
Well thank goodness, I am not alone. Still shopping, etc. People’s cards came early.. Still working on mine..We are all in our own groove I have to remind myself..It’s not about keeping up with the Joneses or getting the cards out before they do, etc!! I know sometime I may be without my guys at Christmas. I think that may be hard. Try and have a special time with your Giampi and treat yourself a little. Your story about the bank lady I thought of all day. That could be any of us. We need to catch the magic however we find it and don’t let the ‘Shoulds’ ruin the holiday. No one is judging us, except ourselves. Hugs and love. I am hoping you feel better. I am so happy I saw you this week. xo
What a terrible accident. Definitely a reminder to slow down! My daughter is learning to drive and I can’t believe how many people run lights and stop signs now that I’m pointing everything out. Better to skip activities than rush. I hope you have a peaceful few days and can complete your errands easily.
Jen this accident has shaken us all. I also have two young male drivers at home… Nerve-racking. We just were talking about how so many people are driving like idiots (for lack of a better word) now – possibly due partly to holiday stress. Thanks Jen trying to make the time to get it done, but not at the expense of enjoying the season. Wishing you a wonderful holiday! xo
As I read this I am sitting on a lanai in Maui. Overlooking the ocean. Baked a little, sent a few cards, decorated a bit, sent some cash and bought 4 small gifts for the 4 other people who are here with me. Simple as it gets!
Nancy sounds like you have the right idea!! Do what you can and simple makes you be able to be present. Enjoy and happy holidays.
Thank you Kim for the reminder that being present is the best gift we can give those we love. I just left my sweet mom in the hospital with my dad and others who are caring for her during a prolonged post surgery stay so that I can travel to see my daughters, one of whom I have not seen in six months. I spent six days with my mom and I’m recovering from pneumonia that I can’t quite shake. I was feeling guilty. I haven’t bought presents or sent Christmas cards and I missed and will miss so many holiday get togethers including Christmas Eve which I usually celebrate with my parents and eldest daughter. I love each and all of them. Sharing these precious moments, singing my mother, supporting my dad, playing with my grandson, hanging out with my girls… all mean so much to me. I’m so glad to know I’m not alone in my journey to enjoy being present not the moment with each of them.
Sharonrose, You sound like you are doing a lot during a tough time, but still making your family and being with them a priority. I know how straining it can be when a parent is ill. You are the best mom and grandma too. You have to take care of yourself though. Wonderful you are going to be with your daughter. It will mean so much to her. That is a gift. We have to remind ourselves that that is what it is all about not the gifts, etc. Enjoy the trip and know that you the gifts don’t matter it’s how you are there for them all. Hugs and Merry Christmas to your family.
I totally agree! I love to have a glass of wine with the people I love and connect with them…whether it is a friend or someone in my family; I really try to connect with them and love the moment we share together.
Lori-Lea, Connecting with your people!! It’s what matters. Love that. You’ve got it right. Enjoy the season.
Kim-
This is exactly how I feel! Thank you!
It’s time we finally meet up for a cappuccino!!!
Hugs-
-Annamarie
Annamarie let’s do this. A goal for the new year. Miss you dear and love seeing your sweet family on your posts. Wishing you guys a beautiful Christmas. Hugs. xo
Beautifully written Kim … I agree completely. So easy to get caught up with the things that really aren’t important, resulting in stress and feeling unhappy. A timely reminder for me as I wake up, sip my morning coffee and look at my ever growing to do list! Feeling as though I’m caught inside a chaotic bubble! Like you I’ve focused on people first…. out for dinner with close friends, a night away with my daughter and granddaughter visiting my sister in law ( my brother died a few months ago) and yesterday my daughter and I started a new family tradition… Christmas baking with her daughter, my granddaughter . We had so much fun, the three of us. Even though everything wasn’t as organised as I’d planned! Lol
So sad to hear about the accident near to you … highlighting how precious life is and how suddenly it can be gone ….
I’m going to print out this post and the comments to read each year as a reminder of what’s really important at Christmas time . 😘 xxxx
Rosemary love that you are putting people first. I love putting it that way. I think what you are doing is what is all about and we can miss it all if we are frantically focused on gifts, etc. How nice you started that baking tradition with the granddaughter! I miss that with my grandma and she came when my boys were small to do it with them too… I have those memories and so thankful for them! You made me think of that today. Enjoy it all Rosemary. I hope you don’t worry about the small stuff. Hugs and wishing you the best Christmas.
Hugs to you too Kim …. and I hope you and your family have a truly wonderful Christmas.
Unfortunately I do worry about the small stuff …. I wish I didn’t! Somehow there never seems to be enough time in the run up to Christmas, then the day itself passes so quickly. Consequently it’s so important to enjoy the days before and after as well. I think.
I love hearing about your memories of Christmas baking with your Grandma and how lovely that she baked with your boys as well. I’m so looking forward to doing this with Jess and Isla, every year. xxxx
Oh my, what a tragedy. Events like this bring perspective, particularly during this crazy time of year. The year has been so overwhelming for me I’m considering forgoing the holiday cards – nor ordered yet. That said, I feel guilty and pressured with each holiday card I receive. Sigh. Sounds like you have a healthy attitude toward the tasks ahead and if some things fall by the wayside the important thing is spending time with family and friends. xo
Such a great and important reminder! I get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect…it just makes me grumpy. So this year I did my best to let things go and practice a bit more self care. Hope you’re enjoying some relaxation and fun with family and friends!
Thank you Karen! I am glad to hear you did more self-care. It’s about enjoying the season, not making it perfect! Yes I am loving the downtime. I hope you are too!