This Mother’s Day will be unlike any we’ve had before. Moms will be either spending a LOT of quality time with the fam or sadly their loved ones are far or unable to be near them now. The 2020 Mother’s Day may be the least commercial with limited shopping and that’s maybe good. Old school coupon books and breakfasts in bed will be enough for many and a treat. My own wish for is for time to chill, maybe a glass of wine in the yard or with a favorite show, and a break from the everyday grind of cooking, cleaning, food and toilet paper procurement, etc. Many of us are very familiar with the grind right now, thanks to family togetherness in the era of Covid 19!
It’s been five years since my own lovely mom has been gone, and each year I miss her more. There are so many milestones I wish I could talk over with mom. In the past year I could have asked her opinion about the house remodel, raising sons and college choices. We could have talked over shows and ice skating on television. Mom would have loved The Crown and so many good books I have discovered. I know she would be so proud to see my boy’s graduate and what all the grandkids have become. I would like to ask of her own experience with menopause and when hers started and when did she stop having extreme hot-flashes. I would tell her now I totally get how she got burnt out on cooking at age 65 and left it to my dad. I also now sympathize with her increasing anxiety about driving and many other things previously second nature. In some ways it’s better she’s not here to see that Hilary lost and what has become of our nation. She cared so much about women’s rights, animals and those who have the least among us. She also was a self-professed germaphobe and this virus would have put her over the edge.
My mom avoided taking photos so I have very few of her. My favorite is this 1967 photo dad snapped of her ready to board a train to her hometown of Milwaukee, leaving me with grandma, which I look none too happy about. I love her chic suit and Sassoon kind of haircut. In the back was her sharp black and white 65 Buick Skylark, which she drove for all our childhood.
This weekend I’ll think of the cool things about Suzanne Marek Fleming, that continue to bubble to the surface of my own conscience and become part of me. I can attribute so much to mom like my visceral love of yellow, anything by Carly Simon, Gladys Knight and Helen Reddy, Audrey Hepburn, all things tennis, cats, biographies, white t-shirts and neat blue jeans, enjoying the yard, puttering about the home, and a perfect cocktail on Friday night, mom’s being a Manhattan. Those are the little things that bring happiness. That is probably the best gift I have received from my mom- find joy in the everyday, make your home your nest and have a happy routine. It’s simple, slow living and it is a good way to live life. My dad is very much the same. I hope my boys will find small things that bring them joy in the everyday too.
Do many of you feel the same? Do you now live like your mother, even inadvertently? Maybe it’s partly in our DNA what we like and what we do. I believe that may have more to do with it than we know.
I am excited to share will be back Monday with my new series, Californians at Home, where I interview stylish Californians about how they live, entertain and decorate. Make sure you’re subscribed to the blog- here or on the right sidebar to get emails when I publish a post. You can also follow on Instagram, where I post more regularly, and Pinterest.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend and find a little bit of what fills your basket and brings joy. Take time out for you, even if it’s sitting alone for a bit with your feet up and listening to some great music or watching the clouds. For the moms -chores don’t exist this weekend so don’t touch anything until Monday. I’m giving you permission starting now!
Hugs,
Kim
Photos property of Northern California Style and may not be used without permission.
This whole post was so lovely! I feel like I got to know your mom a little bit and she sounds like someone I’d love to be friends with and totally “get” (women’s rights, finding joy in a routine,..) I hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day, Kim!
Thanks for saying that Stefanie. Funny all my friends loved her. She had a way that made everyone feel very familiar with her..down to earth, caring and took no crap, for lack of a better word!! I hope you had a great weekend too. xx
Aww I love this, Kim! I’m so much like my mom too which I realize more and more as time goes on. What I wouldn’t give to share a cup of coffee at her kitchen table again.
Love you.
Dawn
Dawn, yes just to share that again.. I can still see your cute parents coming to grab coffee when I was working at Nordys. They were the sweetest people. Thinking of you. xo
What a beautiful tribute. I can see where you get your style and love of life. Happy Mother’s Day! Xx
Thank you Jen so sweet of you. xo
Lovely tribute to your mother. It’s true that we slowly turn into our mothers as we get older I used to think I was very different from my mum, and I am because I’m like my dad, but in other things, we are exactly the same.
Our restrictions due to COVID 19 are slowly being lifted and things are starting to get closer to normal.
Looking forward to your new series.
Loree thank you and yes I would have hated to know I as going to be so like my mom when I was young and now I am proud of it. I used to like to think, like you, I was more like my dad. Now I think I am both. It’s interesting with kids to see what parts of us they resemble! I will have to get to your blog and catch up. You are lucky to be on an island and be able to be normal soon. Take care!
So thoughtful and loving. Thank you for this beautiful post. I hope you have a lovely weekend and Mother’s Day!
Thank you so much Susan! I hope you had a nice Mother’s Day weekend. xo
What a beautiful post and tribute to your Mom. My Mom will be gone 9 years in June. I just can’t imagine if it had been now and I weren’t able to be with her. I feel so sad for those who are separated from their Moms this Mother’s Day. I hope everyone enjoys a beautiful weekend and wish you all a very happy Mother’s Day!
Monique I am sorry. I fell the most sad for people now whose parents are in homes and ill and far away and they cannot travel to see them. I know that has to be very hard. Thank you and hope your weekend was lovely also. xx
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL POST!
SHE LOVED YELLOW LIKE ME!MY FATHER DROVE A SKYLARK in THE 1960’s TOO!!!!!BLUE!
I was nodding my head about the driving are we becoming them?………..YES,I am MY MOTHER MORE AND MORE EACH PASSING YEAR!
I looked down this week and saw MY SKIN.IT’s MY MOTHERS DRY SKIN that has become VERY WRINKLED.
THAT TOOK MY BREATH AWAY…………..
I am certain YOUR BOYS WILL CELEBRATE YOU IN STYLE!
I am doing LAUNDRY RIGHT NOW………………..will STOP and LEAVE FOR MONDAY!
MONDAY BRINGS GREAT JOY!YOUR NEW SERIES AND MY GARDEN POST ALONG WITH MY PAL CINDY!
IT WILL DEFINITELY SET THE DAY FOR US in A GOOD WAY!
PS. Dropped the HINT about THE PHONE to the NUMBER TWO SON!
LETS JUST SEE HOW GOOD HE IS!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
She did love her yellow! Wow I guess a lot of people were Skylark fans! I see the same wrinkles too on me, especially the worry furrow brow thing. I should have tried Botox and I think it’s too late now.. The boys made a nice brunch platter. I loved the garden series so much. It needs to be updated during summers so we can see what else blooms!xoxo
What a lovely tribute to your Mom. I’m 52 and my Mom just turned 92. She still introduces me as her “baby” because I was the youngest child. Though I’m so lucky to still have my Mom around (the corner) I know I may not have a great deal more time with her. Your words made me think of those parts of me that are a direct result of her life and example. Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Marianne how sweet you still have your mom and to still be her baby! I used to always tell my dad he was still lucky to have a mom age 78! My grandma died just before she was 101. I hope my dad has those same genes. I think we don’t think about how much of our parents are us. I’ve been thinking about my dad too and how much what he does is part of my DNA too! xo
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. She sounds like an awesome lady. I’m lucky to still have my Mom, but sad that we are far away. I’m not sure when I’ll get back to Texas to see her with all of the restrictions. Have a happy Mother’s Day! Looking forward to your new series!
Jill thanks. I bet it is hard during this to be so far and not able to see your mom! Hope restrictions will change soon at least to see families. Thank you Jill and hope to see you around soon. xo
Kim- thank you for reminding us about simple pleasures and where many come from. My mom wasn’t chic but she was about creating a loving home where we could be ourselves. In her world family dinners were everything and continue to be so in mine. I can only hope that gene has been passed down to my kid’s this mother’s day. 😉
Aimee thank you. I adore your mom. I see how you have that way of making your home a nest for you all that is so attractive and comforting. Family dinners are so good. I hope during this pandemic people have learned that even more. Ours have been something we all look forward to being at home all day. I am sure your kids will be so like you. I see it already. xo
What a lovely tribute to your mom. I lost mine 21 years ago … and, like you, I miss her more each year. And, every year I recognize her more and more in the choices I make about how to live my life. She would have loved to be here for that. Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day. I look forward to your new stylish Californians series. xo
Juliet, 21 years that probably feels like it went fast. Don’t you wish you could show her your homes? I think there is nothing like a mom’s appreciation for you right? Take care. xx
Hi Kim,
This was so nice, Heartfelt and a loving tribute to your mother. Sounds like she was pretty amazing and isn’t it nice that you have many of her same habits and traits? BTW you look like her!
My mom’s been gone for 13 years now, hard to believe because often my feelings of loss are still so raw. We were very different in many ways, and similar in many as well. I hope I do justice to all the wonderful things she taught me about family and my home and being a mom.
As for me, chores stop now! I just got done scrubbing the kitchen stone floor and grout on my hands and knees. Enough! I’m done!!
Enjoy your Mother’s Day!
XO Heidi
Heidi, Thank you!! Even 13 years the pain of missing them doesn’t lessen. I agree I am like my mom and also in some things we were very different.. those things seem to matter less now. I guess I hold onto the things she did that really resonate with me now… Good I’m glad you took a break. I hope your Mother’s Day was lovely also. xo
I can really hear your love for her. And she looks like a force, a very competent woman. I’m sorry she’s gone.
Thank you Lisa. I know you have lost your mom only recently. Sending hugs your way.
So beautiful Kim … and such a gorgeous picture of your mum. So stylish! You look so much like her. I remember when I first started reading your blog, you writing about her, in particular how you would both watch the Oscars and talk about the dresses. You obviously have so many wonderful memories of her. It’s seventeen years since my mum died and in some ways it feels like only yesterday. Like you I regularly wish I could ask her things and miss sharing special and every day moments with her.
Thank you Rosemary- oh yes mom loved to Oscars so much. I really miss that and the fun chatting with her about it all. You are sweet to remember. Seventeen years and I bet you feel like it hasn’t been long.. I feel like that and I can still hear my mom’s voice so well. I think the worst is the questions we can’t ask. If I could go back in time I would ask so much more and not take for granted she would always be here. xo
Beautiful heartfelt tribute to your mom and to the woman you have grown into…. with some thanks to her. She sounds like someone I would have enjoyed, I relate to many of her favorites. I also drove a Skylark, mine was red with white convertible top. I lenjoy your writing.
Thank you Diana so much for saying that. You had a Skylark too? They were very cool cars and I would love to see one with a red top! xo