Since I begun this blog more than 15 years ago, the question I get most persistently is, ‘what to wear to a wedding?’ I am lucky to be going to a wedding this summer for my nephew in Vancouver, Canada, so I have been on the hunt myself this year.
I haven’t been to a wedding for a few years. Here with Max above at an outdoor wedding in Carmel Valley. I wore a one shoulder dress which felt chic and perfect for the day. (Dress was Ralph Lauren and I loved it. Nothing like it out now!)
What’s the attire?
Invites often tell you the attire, which is helpful- or stressful if you aren’t sure.
Cocktail is the most common and a step below semi-formal, but now there are destination weddings, beach nuptials and more. First of all, take into account the venue. This cheat sheet by Bride’s magazine I shared a few years ago, is still helpful I think and the accompanying article will help you decode the particulars. This kind of says it better than anything…
Plan Ahead and Start in Your Closet
It’s wonderful if you can find something in your closet that you still like that hasn’t seen an outing in a few years. Try on all you have in a good full-length mirror. While in that mirror, take some pictures of you in the outfit with different accessories. Maybe all you need is an updated pair of sandals or a bag? Do you have a nice clutch, a vintage pair of earrings, or pretty heels you’ve forgotten about? If you own beautiful things, this is a nice time to wear them.
Below at a wedding in St Louis for Max’s cousin a few years back! I brought one of my favorite older box clutches.
Consider These Things
- Ask yourself is this an elevated look? It should feel special and not something you’d wear day-to day.
- Try to avoid white or the color of the wedding party (unless you are the Mother of the bride/groom.)
- If you go with a printed dress, go with simpler accessories and shoes, on the same note, a simple dress can be more with a printed clutch, a cool shoe or a standout necklace or earrings.
- Stockings are optional now, but wear what feels good to you. Examine your look for the need for Spanx. Some dresses definitely look better with support layers.
- Expect pictures will be taken. It’s nice to have a memory of these special days so bring your best you and get your hair freshened up, do your makeup, nails and so on.
Cocktail and Semi-Formal Options
I am in love with this Arabesque dress by FarmRio below which would be great with black accessories. I also adore this yellow jacquard cutie by Boden.
A great classic I own is this Selani dress by Rails. It is super comfy and has pockets and a small side slit. It comes in 6 colors. Even though the material is cotton, it’s very luxe looking. Most everyone looks good in a one shoulder dress.
If you are on a budget, but want something pretty, this tiered dress is a great option at $99. This can go dressy- ‘cocktail to formal’ depending on the sandal and bag. You can also make it work for a day event. One 74 year old reviewer wore this with a small jacket over it for a wedding, so very versatile.
More Cocktail and Dressy Casual Ideas…
Formal Affairs and Black Tie
My friend Kim has two formal wedding to attend this year, one in Napa and one in Italy. Lucky her, but she needs a full length dress and her husband needs a tux! These events are much more common in the east coast, than out here in the west. Here’s a few dresses I like that could work.
I adore this tiered Mirabelle dress and it looks forgiving too. You have a lot of options for accent colors with this.
This poppy lace from Me+Em is a standout, and so is this pretty bias cut maxi by them.
I also like this strapless dress by Lily Pulitzer (also in green), and black floral crepe gown.
If you want a modern take on full length, this blue number by Staud is cool. This floral one shoulder look is another pretty one.
More formal options here (some with sleeves)…
The Beach or Festive/Casual Wedding
These weddings are growing in popularity and many have opted for less formal and fun wedding themes. The nice thing is you can get more colorful and creative with your ensemble at these types of weddings.
I have a thing for this Me+ Em striped halter neck in a creaseless linen. (It looks very Ralph Lauren to me. ) I am considering this for a late June wedding in Vancouver. I made little collage here of the accessory possibilities with a black wrap or a more woven tan bag and sandal. I also love this blue halter look for a summer wedding.
More fun casual dressy/festive/ destination/beach wedding ideas.
You may also like this post on Frank & Eileen dresses I own.
Let’s talk accessories
Do not underestimate the impact of an adorable bag. It can make your look. One bag I have used for so many occasions is this cute Pot de Miel from Claire V., which is charming and fits a full size wallet, a phone and more. Any small bag with quirky details is like a little icing on the whole look.
I think there is nothing more chic than a strappy sandal if you can wear it. I prefer the block and kitten heels, which make navigating a lawn or weird surfaces a lot easier. I just cannot do a high heel anymore. I link to some good ones like the Dolce Vita below (in 7 colors), and a few others that aren’t too pricey. If you have a simpler dress, I adore this pink sandal from Boden… and if you need a wrap, you cannot go wrong with this J.Crew cashmere wrap that will last you years and be great for travel too in 6 colors. I also love a pearl earring and danglers like these are so flattering.
More Shoes, Bags, Earrings, and Wraps Below…
You can also go to my ShopMy Boutique where all these categories are pages along with more of my spring fashion picks.
Hopefully, this was helpful for those getting to a wedding or just a special event this year. Perhaps too many options here, but I was trying to think of different situations, body types, and also costs.
What wedding guest dresses have worked for you? Do you have a favorite dress you loved and worn on multiple occasions?
If you missed last month’s Signature Style – read the post on spring and summer jackets here.
Kim
Please pop over to Cindy’s for more dresses and great ideas as always…
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Hi Kim, this is an excellent post and I would have found it so helpful when choosing an outfit for my daughter and son’s weddings. One in France and the other had a “Festival” theme. I feel choosing a wedding outfit can feel super difficult and stressful when really it should be fun! I think the most fun I had was choosing a dress for my nieces wedding in Ibiza! Having said that I chose an emerald green, cotton, embroidered dress that was very unusual for me … way out of my comfort zone and I haven’t worn it since! It felt just right on the day though 😊
I wore wedge espadrilles, the type that tie around your ankle and they worked really well on the sand and grass … plus they look pretty.
You’ve shared such beautiful options that will hopefully ease the stress for some of your readers.
You look so at ease and chic in both your wedding outfits and I think the linen stripe dress that you’re considering for your Vancouver wedding is perfection! It’s so classic and stylish… and very you! I can’t wait to see pictures after the wedding in June. I love visiting Vancouver too, so I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time.
Thanks Kim, for such a wonderful and helpful post.
Rosie xx
Hi Rosie! I bet the Ibiza outfit shopping was fun. I can see also why you wouldn’t rewear things bought for a festive wedding as much. Green and embroidered sounds perfect with wedge espadrilles! Griffin had to go to a western themed one in Texas and needed more than a suit. He had a few western shirts he hasn’t worn since. I guess that happens a lot.
Aw thanks, I am excited to get to dress up – and see Vancouver! xo
Kim! Such helpful information! I have two weddings coming up and one is formal. Good point about adding a fun little bag to complete the look. Your example with black dress and fun shaped straw bag is perfect!
Xx
Thanks Annie! So excited for your wedding event too! Yes I am like you love a classic dress + a cool bag! xo
I now try not to buy an outfit for one particular occasion, e.g. a wedding, unless I think I can wear it again and unfortunately, in the past, that has not been the case. I do remember a beautiful floaty silk Max Mara dress I wore to an outdoor wedding. The weather was stinking hot (115 degrees F) and half of the male guests ended up wearing shorts and the females not much more. I felt very over dressed, so after that, I didn’t buy anything new, although I loved that dress and did wear it again. I did splurge last Christmas on a rather pricey silk skirt and matching shirt for a very upmarket Christmas party and although I love the outfit, haven’t worn it again. I have to laugh though, I bought (online) a black and white cotton dress for around $80 and have flogged it to death over summer. It is this dress (and not my expensive one) which receives so many compliments when I am out and about in it. You have good taste with your choices – the Poppy lace dress is gorgeous and I am always a bit of a sucker for Kinney as I like to support local labels. Your posts are helpful as they cover a wide spectrum of styles and price points.
Hi Susan, I bet that was a gorgeous MaxMara dress. Don’t you hate when you’ve gone all out, and no one else has? Kind of disappointing. I love the idea of the silk ensemble too. Hopefully, you’ll wear that again.
Ha! So funny the inexpensive dresses get the attention right?
I loved that poppy lace number too. I hope this was helpful to most people! xx
Great recommendations Kim! You are right – the last three weddings we have been to have been formal and Chip had to wear a tux. That always makes it harder – you want to be able to wear it again but you will probably see this group again if it’s your friend group, and there are not that many places anymore where you can wear a formal dress. If it’s a classic dress, I just save it and wear it again years later, hoping people have forgotten it from the last time! 😜
Hi Gray! Thanks for your feedback. Wow three formal weddings. Yes you are so right, if you see the same group- you want to change it up a bit right?
I wonder if in those formal cases- a Rent the Runway is a better option, as you know you’re not going to wear the dress again, and need three!
Yes agree a classic dress is easier to rewear at a later time. x
Love what you have found for us. We don’t have any weddings this summer but I guess that could always change!
Mary Ann, I know and some kind of event where you need a dress? xo
Oh weddings are such fun events! A Vancouver wedding in June sounds wonderful! You’ll be close to where we live on Vancouver Island…will you be taking a few days to explore the area?
Our weather can be unpredictable at this time of year so a pashmina is a good idea to bring along just in case.
These dress options are so pretty and your advice on sandals with low heels is spot on…I speak from experience as my taller heels sunk into the grass at a wedding reception here at a local hotel and my husband had to help me walk. If he hadn’t been there I would have had to take my shoes off!! It was very embarrassing!
Hope you have a fabulous time at your nephew’s wedding.
Leslie
Hostess of the Humble Bungalow
Hi Leslie!
Yes we are taking two days after to explore Vancouver with my brother and his family. I am excited to see more. I haven’t been there in about 30 years.
I was hoping some Canadians might weigh in on my choice! Good to hear the pashmina might be warm enough with this look.
Ha.. I have had the same thing happen to me at a wedding. Heels in grass is a real issue isn’t it? Thank god for the block heels.
Thank you so much hostess.xo
Kim, I am sitting here in Dorset UK enjoying a week at English Cottage Vacations where it is almost summertime weather. I have no weddings to attend, but I do know Vancouver, which was where I grew up. A lot has changed, but Seasons at the Park is an iconic restaurant that is very special. Atop a high point in Vancouver with a spectacular view overlooking downtown, the North Shore Mountains , Lions Gate Bridge and English Bay. Sunsets are such a treat during dinner. Reservations go quickly… I have mine for mid July booked while English visitors are here. Excellent menu and an easy cab ride from downtown hotels. One place to explore is West Vancouver and pretty Dundarave for coffee shops, restaurants and some casual shopping. If driving, be sure to head down Georgia into Stanley Park, stopping to see the harbour and then around along the sea wall , perhaps for a short walk , and then veering off taking the short cut to cross Lions Gate Bridge and keeping left into West Vancouver staying on Marine Drive. A very relaxing part of the Vancouver experience. When I cross over from Qualicum Beach on Vancouver Island, I come by ferry from Nanaimo to Horseshoe Bay , almost immediately driving down from the highway to Marine Drive and enter Vancouver through West Van and over the bridge. Gorgeous !
Hi Cath! Oh I can imagine it’s lovely there in Dorset! Thank you I did not know you were a Vancouver girl. I am saving that restaurant now to check out. West Vancouver is on the list and I love a good coffee spot and shopping!
Wow love all these ideas. Thank you SO much. I am very excited to see it all. I know it’s such a beautiful part of the world.
Enjoy your holiday. Can’t wait to hear more about it. xo
Hi Kim! Always enjoy your posts! But … I am suddenly having a problem receiving them. I can’t figure it out. I even signed up again after I realized I hadn’t received your Saturday email last weekend. Sadly, again today I did not receive this current email. I’m not sure if you might have a suggestion to fix this problem. Thanks.
Judie, I have a new email provider – Flodesk and so my posts are likely going in the ‘promotions’ or ‘junk mail’ or ‘spam’ folders. You can also search your email for Northern Cal Style and see that way.
See if you can find it in there and drag it to Primary, so it won’t keep happening. I am sorry it’s been about two weeks and this happens when you change email senders.
Please let me know if you don’t see it! Thanks for letting me know.
This is likely happening to a lot of people and I apologize. It takes a few weeks for everyone to get back on board. x Kim
Thank you, Kim, for this excellent post. Approaching 83, I love your choices with shoes, wraps, and purses. It’s still fun to “dress to the nines” but necessary to be sensible while having fun.
Diney on Mercer Island
Hi Diney! Aw thank you so much. I love getting your notes. Thanks for being here. Have a great week! xo
Hi Kim,
You showed so many good possibilities for different types of weddings and price points too.
I like your choice so far, my eye keeps going back to the Selani dress by Rails is awesome looking. I think the colors are striking. The linen one is beautiful too, either one will look good on you.
Decisions and choices.
The weather can be cold in Vancouver that time of year. I’m sure you are all over it. If you plan to spend some after your cousins wedding I hope you can go see Buchart Gardens. In June the gardens are probably at its best. I’ve been either two or three times and it’s heaven sent. Since you love gardening and flowers it’s seriously breathtaking. I could live on the grounds. It’s pretty mesmerizing.
Take care.
❤️
Hi Katherine!
I do love Rails dresses. Very nice quality and a California company. Aw thanks.
I hope to get to the gardens when I am there. Thanks for the reminder. I am excited. Last time I went, I was a young person, and not as into gardening as I am now! x
Kim I always know you will have something fun to share. We linked to a couple of the same dresses but not many!! Most ladies my age don’t want sleeveless. There are so many great ones out there right now! I wish I could still wear them! I haven’t worn heels for years and don’t miss them a bit!! Great post as always and I love that cute Clare V straw bag!!
Cindy your looks were so good. Loved them all. Yes the little bag is the best.xx
Hi Kim thanks for such a wonderful post! Gorgeous dresses. I don’t have any weddings to go to this year but love dresses always!The Me+Em is gorgeous and I love the way you styled it.Love the Italian tile Tuckernuck one too. Have a beautiful time in Canada !
Aw thanks Francesca. I know I love dresses too. Isn’t that tile one fun too? xo
Kim! I love your curation and see at least three dresses I want to try for an early fall wedding in Maui. I’m going to order from your links ASAP before they sell out. Thank you for doing the hard work for me. xoxo
Kim, so many helpful details and beautiful dresses! Sadly no weddings to attend in my future or at least not for a few years. But it is fun to see the looks!
Als always, thanks for doing the hard work so that we do not have to!
Thanks Elizabeth! I know I haven’t had one for ages either! Kind of fun. x
I am shopping for a summer wedding that is cocktail but is at a campground(very nice one!) So, am trying to thread the needle of cocktail but maybe more casual…
Oh Elizabeth, That’s a tricky one… I guess you need campfire cocktail look! How fun.
I would go casual. I wonder if a cute jumpsuit could work? x
I hope yoi chose the striped halter from Me & Em. It looks very you! I think you will get a ton of use from it.
Thanks Anita! I need to go try it on and see. I hope it works! x